This happened sometime around last week when some of u guys were busy watching redtube on your dad's newly upgraded bootleg mac book pro that he bought from some junkie who needed the money to buy another shot of self pleasure (credit to BK for the extensive of crappy words)
This morning i woke up and suddenly i am one of the stewardess of Air Asia.
Ha ha ha . Me becoming a stewardess is like Micheal Jackson returning back to his own base skin color. I cant even reach for my hanged dress in the closet let alone to be stretching myself for a passenger's baggage at the upper partition above the seat .That is how short i am. Not really short, but tall enuff to ride a ferris wheel.Dah la aku gayat.It is not even fictionally possible for me of becoming a stewardess.
So cite die cenggini.
Abg joe; the birthday boy of the day, called me last nite with a verbal output which by now ive come to know as a sloshy voice at about 3 am and asking me if i want to be an extra as a stewardess for this one typical malay drama. At first i was reluctant and uncertained whether i shud do it or not.Aku soh die call aku balik while m doing the consideration. He called me 10 minutes after and this was how he convinced me
Abg Joe : Alaaa adik..jom ahh..slamber jee..jom ahh
Diena : ahhh tanak ahh..nanti kene bahan dohhh
Abg Joe : ala..nie drama melayu yg tade org tgk nye..dont worry..tade sape nak tgk
Diena : err..ye ke ye ke?
Abg Joe : tu ah..sape je tgk drama melayu skrang..jom ahh
Diena : ye ah ye ahhh jom ahhhh
So that morning , around 7-ish i drove back from Monterez to Puchong with a painful stomach ache greater than what ur father felt when the intern surgeon removed his testicles and later used it as an ersatz stress ball that u could easily find at the night market along the road of Petaling street.
Anyways, i should avoid all the intense details about my constipation to save u from having a nasty graphical image of how my watery feces bursting out from the kuncupan bunga matahari ku.Luckily my stomach ache completely subsided even before abg joe arrived to fetch me up.
As soon as sampai LCCT je , pondan wardrobe tu terus bagi aku uniform airasia. Fatin and I went to the toilet and got changed. I SWEAR I LOOKED LIKE A FRIGGIN RED RIDING HOOD SIAL! ye ye aku sedar aku pendek. fine fine fine! pfftttttttttt! biar badan pendek, asalkan akal panjang. boo yah!
After that we went for make up and hair at the naturally born sexually confused homosapien .
diena : abg,ketat sikit kan baju nie *sambil membetul2kan baju merah terang bederang ala2 nandek di dahi si itam*
beliau : ape abg abg..KAKAK OK KAKAK! *mencekak pinggang nak menyembul kan mata yg macam fish ball basi*
diena : ok ok ok .kakak kakak *pandang bawah sebab tak sanggup tgk ceracak bulu-buluan di dagu beliau*
beliau : panggil mummy pun ok jugak *senyum malu2 sambil main2 tali kat sweater hoodie die*
diena : *terkesima.speechless seribu bahasa*
Ye lah,i dont know which part of kakak she is. Tau la baru shave dagu and misai. i was only like 5 cm from her face and i swear i could see her janggut practically growing. keheningan yg shahdu sial janggut lu bro. but overall she was nice and helpful.And Oh,i think the amount of make-up on that she painted on my face could bake tons and tons of fancy wedding cakes. pfffttt.
But sadly,shooting ari tu tak jadi. So all of us kene balik. nasib baik. kalau tak mesti aku kene bahan sebab kuar tv lagi. haih.