Sunday, August 31, 2008

10 things that would made my Merdeka Eve a lot less suckier

My merdeka eve would be less suckier if : *the list may or may not be consecutively in order. deal with it like u deal with ur girlfriend extra scrotums right under her badly abused libia*

1. i could actually see the bursting fireworks all over the town instead of just hearing the sound

2. Brought my deodorant along because it wasnt all pleasant when ur armpit started to be dampen with whatever liquid that coming out from the sweat glands.

3. The place that we stayed wasnt so much of a shit hole and cost a lot more than ur mom's new boobs!

4.Genting was actually a magical province located somewhere in Europe.

5. i was not sober. i mean like super clean purely suci-ly murni-ly goody goody sober. true story. really! word of honor.

6.i didnt walk all the way from Ria Apart-shit-man to First World Hotel just to eat in another dimension of shit hole. only now it was full of living things. namely; the staff.

7.I'd had a little bit more courage.

8.I brought extra panties and didnt wore the same panties more than 24 hours.

9.I could then i would

10. I had a 4 dimensional pocket like the legendary homosexual Doraemon to put all my things inside instead of carrying my heavy duty bag wherever i go.I swear my right shoulder isnt symmetrically balanced with my left shoulder like it used to before.

Nevertheless, it was a fun night. I had fun messing with my good friends whom are pratically my family now. love love yah~

p/s : tade p/s

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Water Shortage

Misfortune seemed to be my bestfriend these past few days. But tonite was like the biggest hebatest coolest misfortune ever.

I came back from work at like 6-ish. As usual i will terus pegi at my room and turn on my computer (as if one day in front of the pc isnt enuff). Suddenly while i was happily cruising on the web ,chaq with her sembab face came to me

Chaq : weh..umah tade air eh?

Diena : ko biar betul weh *terus lari ke paip berdekatan dan terus bukak paip*
Diena : BABI AHH BABI AHHH BABI AHH MANAGEMENTTT!!! (*&!(@*&(*^$@(_(+_2_@*#_*230 (to be replaced with the most extreme profanity towards the sensitive issue of racism)

Chaq : sabar diena sabar sabar.

Diena : ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (those grunted effectively burned 70lbs of my calories)

So we were left with 3 lousy options

1. Go back to my mom's place
2. tumpang umah kawan mane2
3. gi mandi kat toilet suming pool bawah

Eventualy, we choose the 3rd one. So with unshaven legs and undergarmentless both of us went downstairs. To our suprise,there were a whole lot bunch of people whom seemed to be facing the same problem as we do. So muke aku nie tade la malu sangat cam muke setinggan kan ngan towel sangkut kat leher and sambil cradled baldi loaded with my toiletries.

We mandied dalam toilet jantan dengan pintu yg tak bole kunci. Luckily my showe bottle bole jadi sendal.Thanks to the rempits, i spent 20 seconds showering in the dark.

Diena : this is the most embarassing moment. pathetic sial kite.

Chaq : tu ah die doh.. demnit..klaka la sial

Mungkin sebenarnye care aku cite nie tade cam kelakar sangat. but it was totally hilarious when it happened. Da ah. Nak tido. tade mood.

ps : internet makin lame makin cam PA ALIP NUN TAT!

Click at the picture for much clearer visual look of how terel i am in illustrator

Saturday, August 23, 2008

What is the thing that come out from bull's rectum? oh yeah BULLSHIT ( Yet another useless post)

by Marques Houston

I remember the day you first told me that
I was the man that had your heart
From that day forth I knew that nothing would
Evee come and tear us apart

So then people try to warn me about you
Said that I should never trust you
But so stupid me I didn't listen then
I let myself go fall in love with you

(What happened to us)
You were supposed to be my future
But do I really have to take it right back
(Are you really in love)
Or was I just a game to prove to yourself
You could get a man

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you for now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

Your innocent smile used to drive me wild
Even though you ain't innocent at all
And now I feel so stupid cause I'm the only man
That ever loved you even with all your flaws

Even your best friend questioned why
I still wanted to be with you after knowing your past
But she didn't understand in knowing your past
Was why I thought we could past

(What happened to us)
We had something special but
Was I not good enough for you
(Are you really in love)
Catch some flowers fly because without even trying
I still ended up hurting you and I'm sorry

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you for now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

Maybe one day we'll end up talking again
Maybe one day we'll go back to being just friends
Promise to love you baby till my life ends
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

No matter what happened between me and you
I'll always be the man that you could run to
I loved you then I love you now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set-set

Nevertheless,it is a good song. Soothe my ears and viciously shattered my emotions. Tq (=

Ughh,malasnye nak balik umah. Tapi lapar gile.

Anyways, have u guys watched Wall-E yet? Cite die besttt gileeee i tell uu!!! If u havent watch,then u might want to do urself a big favour. Leave that game couch and go straight to ur nearest cinema coz this story is sooooo devastatingly amazing!

Robot pun pandai bercinta.nuff' said

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Oh god! ive been a notty girl!

So there we were,4 of us in the artificial air blowing cold office. It was so cold until i could feel one of my bone starting to be frozen slowly ,bit by bit. Bole kawan ngan Mat Kool! yeah.

Anyways,my pretty boss whom we all called "MOM" was talking about how xtremely kaya her friend is. Like his father owned a ferrari and big houses and that and this. We were all like oohingg and aahing over this human lucky luck.So in the midst of the conversation,wendy suddenly asked

Wendy : Howw laa to be suddenly rich like that?
Mom : *with excited voice* Ohhh..cann laa..u can buy number whatt

So,after mom's brilliant and zooming suggestion,4 of us (including me) quickly grabbed a pen and a paper. We went back to our own places and trying so hard to choose a number,our potential lucky numbers. A number which might bring a temporary happiness in our life.

So three of us, Me ,Ronald and Wendy while leaving mom alone in the coldness, went to the kedai nombor ekor. Baru la aku tau yg byk la jugak sebenarnye jenis nombor2 ekor je. Biase la..kawe tak tau,budak baru belajar kan.Lepas jalan jalan jalan tu kiterang pun sampai infront of the prominent red coloured shop filled with people with different skin color (but mostly dark). So ronald and wendy ajared me how to buy a number. I was so excited considering my virginity on these kind of things havent been penetrated yet. So i wrote my numbers and skittshly handed it over to wendy.Wendy bagi kat org behind the bars and she gave us a paper of record of the number that we just bought.

So tonite i checked the toto punye website and LUCKILY i didnt win any. Coz u know what might happened if i won? I will be indulging and devouring duit haram tgh dkt2 nak pose nie. Tanak aku buat dosa lagi. But u know what, i guess this is acceptable because im sort of celibating right now. One way or another rite?

But lucky for Ronald, die menang dohhh, tapi dapat consolation prize je la. And moreover menang with my car number plak tu. Aku plak terbalik kan numbor. Supposedly 5678 but i switched the middle number jadi 5768.

Ok, this is gonna be the first and the very last of me stepping my foot inside the kedai. I know this is so wrong in so many ways,but hey at least i got to tried it just once.Dont worry ,never will i ever do this again, unless of course if the situation demanded it.Hahahha.

OK chiow. tido time

p/s : Ini utk bk - thanks blanje cake,air,ikan bakar, dan macam2 lagi. Ko mmg nak aku gemok.

p/s lagi : i donnot accept,entertain or give a shit for u judgemental saikotic out there. M living my live,and loving it. every inch bit of it.

Tipu dusta poster yg bernilai tidak beberapa ringgit utk memanipulasikan minda lemah si pembeli. Ini sume hanyalah penipuan!

Mule2 cani...

Pastu cani..hehhee

the number that i choose.

i wud have won 14mil if this number came out. hahha dream dream dream.

Ronald menang la sial. cool gile. lagi cool dari biskut tiger!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Jangan Meniru. Tak baik utk reputasi anda.

Less than 10 minutes ago, i just found out that this girl whom i virtually unfamiliar with ripping off my entry. I mean c'monn..this isnt 2004 or the year before that where only the higher class of community get the access to the internet world. Nowdays even an hobbo get an easy access to the internet.And u now what baby girl,people would easily tell if ur work is authentic or not.

Dear 16 years young school girl who have limited vocab and doesnt know the difference between plagiarism and originality,

If u like my work so much,dont rip it off. The least u can do is credit it back to me. I know u are just a school girl whom still seeking for attention from the outside world,namely the internet. My assumption stands even stronger after a brief visit on ur existing DeviantArt. Yes, u are,without a slightest hint of doubt of what people called an "Attention Whore".

I know u want other people to like you But u know what honey,this isnt the right and honour thing to do. U will forever (or until u post an apologetic entry on ur blogspot and admitted that u've done a minor felony) be remembered as a pathethic little girl who unshamedly copycatting other people works.

Dont get me wrong,i am not mad,actually m beyond flattered. This shows that i kindda have some sort of influence on u prattly school girl.

U know what,m sick. Like totally fucking sick, and even so i have to squezze out my brain just to write this entry to acknowledge my fellow readers and urs as well. So do me and the world a big favour, start using ur own ideas and brain , that is if u have any. But if u dont,u can just go and fry ur brain and cut it into pieces and give it as a meal to a cute baby piglet.

Anyways, this is the snippets from what she ripped of from me,

"Selamat sejahtera kwn2. Saya sihat kat sini. Haritu saya gi PD(pulau dogol) ikut bapak saya. Kat sane best sbb ade laut tp laut dia semak. So x best sbnrnya. Yang best sbb ade kolam renang tuh. Tp ramai org so xdela best mane sbb x dpt berenang ngn aman. Sewaktu dlm perjalanan, saya telah ternampak satu tanda iaitu

jadi, sepanjang perjalanan saya memikirkan berbagai jenis patah perkataan. apakah sbnrnya perkataan KUN yang dimaksudkan itu? ........"

Continue reading here. Just click at the first "a" of her name and scroll down.

And i have a feeling that she will delete the entry right after she finished reading this very sentence.

Friday, August 15, 2008

My new infatuation

Remember d last time that i ranted about my pc? Yeah..i experienced a total damaged,everything from mobo to windows. lucky thing i already put my drawing at other hdd. So i called my mom and put on my "wallowing in despair" tone. After deep consideration frm my mom and thousand of reasons and empty promises from me , finally she gave me the money to buy my new baby.

I didnt go straight to Lowyat (which i prefer to call "Heaven") to buy everything at once. I only bought a white casing and thats it. My initial plan was to spray the casing with pink color.

Anyways,m too lazy to write about everything that i went through to get my new pc. Instead i just post a picture here. Picture tell a thousand words. or so they said.

This is the original color of the casing

spray spray

first attempt : PHAILED BIG TIME! this is certainly not the color that i wanted..soo

the next day i went to buy another can of spray and sprayed it again.

HORRAYY!!!! The greatest achievement in my life ever since i learn to differentiate between sugar and salt.

The comparison between my old and new baby.

So the next day i went to Lowyat and buy the candies.

The heart of my pc.

The uncontaminated lung of my baby.

Aku pun tak tau nak buat ape ngna gc nie.

sape kate pompuan tak pandai assemble pc?

Lesson no 1 : Tweezer can be use to open a small screw.

after hours of sqeezing this baby through my inner canal.

cool sial! lagi cool dari Mc Hammer

my pride and joy.

turns me on everytime. i dont need guy. i have u.

now u see this.

then u see this me go now! bye2!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

I will only (and if only) have children if..

they come with an impressive packaging complete with a remote control as well. With a big red MUTE button in the middle. And also a BEHAVE button.


This morning i decided not to have any kid in th
e near future. Heck i even terrified to even have a thought about having any intimate moment with anyone.Why? Because for this wknd,my brother had dumped her two lovely daughters at me. Ok maybe dumped is a strong word to be said but every weekend he will send his kids to my mom house at monterez but my mom is at penang so i have to be their baby sitter for this wknd.I could have said no. But i didnt,coz i love spending time with them. So last nite they (Miya,Wawa,Ana,Elin and their new maid that they called "Kawan") arrived at my doorstep at approx 2130.The moment they entered the house,they were like due ekor anak kera yg baru dapat pisang. Terloncat2 like there was a trampoline beneath them. Aku dgn penat keje tak abeh just duduk dalam kesungulan.

So after awhile they came to the brink of exhaustio
n. They went to sleep. But i didnt. I sat infront of the pc,surfing,and chatting,and fesbuking coz u know i never had a chance to do that due to my busy weekdays. I slept at 4.30.I kept the door unlocked because if anything happened they can wake me up.I guess leaving the door unlocked was a huge mistake because at sometime around 0735 am....

...I was brutally dikejutkan dgn suara mereka yg sangat nyaring. Sehingga mencecah 10
0 desibel. My head was friggin heavy but i gathered up my strength and opened my eyes. There she was,the youngest of them two. She grinned and said with a voice one level lower than an airplane engine


Ughhh shooot!! ive been planting a sweet seed of hope 3 weeks back saying that i would take them swimming at my house. Now they are here,standing solidly infront of me claiming for their promise.

"Kejap kejap..iku nak tido kejap niee..nah tgk spongebob dulu" i said mamai-ly sambil bukakkan cartoon spongegbob dat i illegaly downloaded sometime ago on my pc.

One hour has passed


"Haa..da habiss..jap..tgk ratatoille nie dulu"

They just sit there,receiving the entertainment that i feed to them. Waiting patiently for the moment of truth. sejam has passed again. And me,still lying motionless on the bed. or so i tot.


"Haaa..JOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! " Ive been mentally prepared for this. So i quickly get up from the bed. And take them to the pool. They were so happy playing
and splashing the water at each other. And at me as well.

Just now their mother took them off my hand. Mak die nak bawak deorang balik tanjung karang. I can now rest blissfully uninterrupted. I hope.

Nevertheless, this is the most meaningful weekend for me.

p/s : for better viewing,please click on the picture. or just die in curiosity.

p/s : oh yeah..turn out that my chelsea made up story take a little longer to be if u cant wait,u might as well decapitate urself. because world got nuthing more to offer to u and ur defected offspring.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


If there is one word to describe how tremendously fucking pissed off i am rite now it wud be..hmm let me think..well i cant think rite now..not with me losing half of my nonsensical drawing that i put on my desktop under the file i rename WorkInProgress.

Somehow,my pc,which i care and love and wud die for decided to pull a little trick on me called WINDOWS CORRUPTED!!

there's only 2 option left for me

1. Format my pc so that i could at least see the loading bar of windows xp


2. Wait there, hoping for technical miracle to happened.

obviosly no 2 is far out of reach coz as much as i love the idea of magic do works wonders, i couldnt run from the fact that this aint Hogwarts. I couldnt just sit there and waiting for colorful pixie dust flying all over my workstation and makes everything where it was again. I simply couldnt.

so,here i am. in front of my lovely pc ,with the face sour than a rotten pickles,trying to organize everything back to my preferences. I FUCKING LOST MY DRAWINGG!! THIS IS WORST THAN HAVING PERIOD ON THE FIRST DAY WHILE STRUGGLING WITH BAD DIARRHEA!!

I always been so cautios about my valueable files.I always put them on seperate folders out of the C:/ drive. But whyyyyyyyyyyy..whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..arghhhhhhhhhhhhh. I go to work every morning,i give money to beggars,i eat vege,i do sit up before i sleep,i didnt give in to my infatuation,i dedicate my life to my family, I am a good personnn. Why this has to happened to meeeeeeee!!!!

Skrang kene lukis balikkk laaaaaaaa..sial la..kimak anak haram j betol!


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Filler 2

Sikit lagi nak siapp..sikit je lagi..

I wont disappoint u fellow stalkers. I promish.

Friday, August 1, 2008


At this very point of time my mind still vaguely deciding which one i should update first.
Will it be about my sweet nite watching the Blues or about my new maroon-not-under-the-list-of-mega-sale table from ikea.

Either that,m still lost in the deep abyss of confusion

Stay tune. or die trying