Monday, June 23, 2008

Food that goes in vain.

I should have posted this on Friday but as the future President/Minister/High Commissioner of Abstinence to my beloved imaginary country ,I am kindda busy with other important stuff that u peasant didnt know abt *see i just calld u guys peasant..hahahha..degrading aint it?*

Anyways , every Friday is PASAR MALAM DAY at my place which I totally looking forward to go every week because of the obvious reason. FOOD! oh those sweet heaven unhealthy food! These are the food that i bought with my stolen money. Observe how I used my MBA in Food Research that i got from the University of Luar Negara to a good cause.

Name : Chinese Radish
Ingredients : radish , kicap , pakcik cina yg masak tu , bini die , telur , minyak
Remarks : Sedap makan tapi eat too much and u'll be vomiting gas down south

Name : Ayam Goreng Tepung Istimewa
Ingredients : Ayam , Tepung and the remaining of his/her dignity
Remarks : I wish i was vegetarian so that i could save this poor poor little ayam. But then again who gonna save me if i got bird flu? Baik kite makan die sebelum die makan kite.

Name : Mee Sup Naga Berasap
Ingredients : Mee keras yg die lupe nak rendam , daging , ayam , and a few other unidentified objects
Remarks : tak sedap. tayah ade remark.

Name : Rojak Endon
Ingredients : Only god knows
Remarks : tak rase pun. mungkin tak sedap. mungkin sedap.

Name : Tepung Pelita
Ingredients : Pandan , the white stuff , the green stuff that compliments the taste of the white stuff.
Remarks : Sedap nye masyaallahhh!! Personally i think that the inventor of this kuih should receive a nobel prize.

Name : Kutu Piring
Ingredients : Gula merah , kelapa parut , daun pandan and the untangled intestine of alien that i stole the other nite at Area 51
Remarks : Mind the unrelated disturbing/obscene image that magically appear without my aknowledgment

Name : Air Tembikai
Ingredients : Tembikai duhh~ dan jugak mungkin ade sedikit hint of tembakau
Remarks : Manis sangat. Tak bagus utk org bercinta. Dikhuatiri akan mengalami penyakit kelamin yg serious.

Name : Kebab Cik Pah *nie name betul nie. bukan main2*
Ingredients : Roti Pita , ayam yg sembelih,daging , keret , cili dan kasih sayang seorang ibu kpd anaknye.
Remarks: BOLOS KA TAK BOLOSSS!!! Sedappppppp macammm having intercourse for the 1st time behind ur mother's new boifren. Seriously serious.

So now the only question left lingering in ur half-empty mind is ; Kenape diena makan byk sangat?
Well I have the concrete statement to all ur skeptic out there.
Aku bela hantu raya! puas hati?
And he goes by the name Johnny Jyeah. *see no laughing here*


Hahaha..of course m kidding!! *aku rase la..aku pun tak sure sgt*
But i think the other possible answer to that is just as simple as this.
I have a very high metobolism rate. I burn calory as fast as the oil industries/government/one particular politician *no name mention or ill be in trouble* rob our hard earn money.
Thats why u always see me cannot duduk senyap/hyperactive/a.d.d.
So now u know. What? Still dont get it?
Then this is time u join the government and work ur way to become a prime minister.

So moving on.

I had a conversation with my mom.

Mummy : Kakak betul ke nak myvi?
Dw : Haah *sambil angguk kepale and focus driving*
Mummy : Nak amek 2nd hand ke baru?
Dw : Mane2 je la..kakak tak kesah..asal ade kete sudeh
Mummy : Hmm..mummy rase amek baru je la eh
Dw : Haa..bole jugak *agak sedikit exited tapi control*
Mummy : Tapi kene pk jugak..kakak mampu ke nanti nak bayar 500 dekat 600 sebulan?
Dw : *diam dgn perasaan tak puas hati coz i know where is this going*
Mummy : Campur dgn minyak lagi dekat seribu da sebulan. Mampu ke?
Dw : ntah la *pasrah dgn gaya*
Mummy : 9 tahun tauu..lame tu..
Dw : Mummy..kakak rase nak makan durian laa *tuka topic coz i know m gonna get depressd if we continue*
Mummy : haaa..kat tepi jalan tu ade..benti laa
Dw : ookkk *my mom maybe didnt notice this but that particular moment my heart bleed like it never bleed before*

And along with that, this conversatioon come to no avail.
Tiada jalan penyelesaian.

Last2 aku yg sakit ati sensorang. tq mummy. i love u!

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