Saturday, May 2, 2009

Another Nasik Lemak Stall Tragedy - The Sequel (Part 2)

For those who didnt read the previous part of this real life story u can go and read it here


It was roughly around 7.30 when i unblocked my view from the shining ray of the sun. The room temperature was colder than it usually is , maybe that was because I've forgotten to switch off the air conditioner. I never really like using the a/c tho because the air coming out from it never do any justice to my throat or skin. I mustered all the consciousness that I got to refrained myself from reclining at the head of the bed coz i know i'd fall asleep instantly if i do that. I forced my body and mind to adapt to the crude reality. No more dream world bebeh.

Suddenly I remember something, I have a mission today. Its a vital mission that should be executed immediately in order to clarify all the hazy confusion. Ive been tediously plotting this mission the whole night under my blanket, and it must not go wrong in any ways.Realizing that I quickly get off my bed , stripped myself bare , hastily grabbed one of the white towel and take the longest most painstakingly shower i ever had. I scrubbed every nook of my body twice with special blend of lavender and the finest sea salt. Washed my hair thoroughly and conditioned it with a conditioner (
duh~). I brushed my teeth using the new toothbrush i just bought , flossed it properly and finally rinse it with the strong most mintiest mouth wash ever.

After my morning shower , I smothered my body with lotion covering every inch of my dirt-less figure.My skin feel so much smoother and silkier. Now its the most crucial time ever , its the time of self-confidence on preserving the dignity , its the time for dressing up. I stepped myself towards the almost half-empty wardrobe , eying on what attract me the most . At first i wanted to chose a black collar t-shirt but then i remember how freaking hot it is nowadays so i settled with a white babydoll dress instead.

I scanned my reflection on the mirror ."This gotta do it" i told myself. Now its time for dolling up. I put on my basic foundation followed up by a neatly dash of mascara on my short ashes to give some dramatic effects on my eyes. After some final touch up , making sure that everything was completely prepared by plan.

I grabbed my bag full of unnecessary things like yesterday banana bread or measurement tape or garbage plastic bag in case i need a rain coat , u know how erratic the whether is nowadays so passing judgment arent welcome. I rummaged inside the content of my bag searching for the only bundles of keys that i have which consist of - car , my house , my mom's house and room's keys. You can tell one's level of dignity just by looking at their keys , and judging by mine , i am indeed one hellava nun. After a few streaks of paper cuts on my hand(
another unwanted rubbish nestling in my bag) i finally managed to find the keys. I separated my house keys from others and put the head of that almost rusty key inside the also almost decay keyhole. Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa m outside the house this very moment. How magical! (i got to lay off those coughing syrup. like seriously)

I advanced myself peacefully towards my parking lot where my car is safely being guarded by two invisible one-eyes ogres. I pointed tet tot tet tot directly at my car and tekan tet tot tet tot , and my car bunyik tet tot tet tot. My car is now , unlocked. It was previously tightly locked because i tekan tet tot tet tot the night before. Sometimes i like to play with tet tot tet tot and pretending to interact with the car because i often feel lonely and somewhat u ppl called friendless in real life. (
this statement has not been altered by any means. it is as original as it was first being thought of)

I positioned myself to a familiarly comfortable seating known to me all this while. Soon after , i ignited the engine until it roars fiercely breaking the silent sound of the morning. My car is now moving in the motion of up down up down up down just like a crappy undone stop motion minus that cheesy background music they usually put in the movie. The car now was navigating its way following the steering-wheel that is under my control.

The air coming out from the small opening of the manufactured a/c eliminates the sweat that gushing out unstoppably from my glands. Suddenly the sudden rush of anxiousness blasting its way to my awareness. I was nervous and started to considering another options for this. But decision has been made , i told my self. Its now or never! I pulled out some tissue and gently wiped it over the area that has been dampened by my sweet sweet sweat. I closed my eyes and cleared my heads. Now i am ready.

As soon as i reached the second guard post at my condo , i quickly winded down the window. I put my hands out as if i was leisurely enjoying the morning and put on my cool face. I want her to see this , I want her to see how sophisticated and educated and talented I am. I want her to witness the glorious moment of me driving a car , a transportation with 4 wheels and doors that keep ppl from falling off the road.

From far i could see her stall , standing there . I could felt the mockery lies beneath every object or food at her stall. I wanna show here what i am and what i am soon becoming to be , a successful woman with a degree of intelligent of her own. I AM SO READY!! MAKCIK NASIK LEMAK U ARE SO GONNA GET IT FROM ME!!

I directed my view to where she wud usually sit ,behind the table. Oh deng , she was no where to be seen. The table was there , the van which she used to carry all her stuff was there , but the makcik was not there. I wasted my morning just for this? Just for 5 minutes or self assurance and leveling up my ego?

DUCK UUUUUUU MAKCIKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! see what have u turned me into! ive turned into a self-concious person which i was not before!!

So , after the transient of frustration moment , i steered my car back to my house. On my way back , i can see the makcik was there but what is the meaning of showcasing my status if my confidence has been violently crushed down . My plan has backfired me. This mission has "FAILED" written all over it. Once again makcik nasik lemak has pawned me in a ways that i never anticipate it wud be.

This isnt over yet, u hear me! its not over!!

p/s : malas nak betul kan gramamamar


Amir Hamzah said...

hahhahaah!!! oh damn. i shouldn't be laughing so late in the night. i should get some sleep. XD

cam tau2 je i got nothing else to surf. :P alrighty, googling time. :D nite2

farahnadia said...

wehhhh alaaahaiii aku bace punye la kusyuk!skali mission unaccomplished!ish!buang mase je!ko punya mandi tu,punya la detailed!hahaha!

preludetoeternity said...

u got served by the makcik..wahahhaha

cikudi said...

makcik -2 dw - 0

baby got servedd...sweeeettt

Shahriza said...

nice try...makcik nasi lemak mmg kool..tq for the entertainment

Anonymous said...

TL;DR.. =P

kalo wat assignment rajin cam tulis krgn ni kan bgus.

MyKy said...

yg ko self-conscious sgt tu sapa suruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

kan dah kena self-pwned. padan muka

cikudi said...

pemalas..suma pemalas

MyKy said...

Sape pemalas? aku baca sampai habis ar. siap betulkan tatabahasa ko lagi.

ish ish.. budak zaman sekarang...

roki said...

makcik tu sembunyi ke??
diena kna just for laugh gags
mak cik version...OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Imran Yusof said...

lol...ko mmg tade luck :D