Help this poor boy.

KHAYRUL AIMAN BIN KHAYRUL NIZAM
Beliau mengidap "muscle cancer" sejak berumur 4 thn (2007). Ketika itu sel cancer menyerang dibahagian peha berdekatan pembulur darah.Tetapi Alhamdulillah telah selamat dikeluarkan sel tersebut dalam pembedahan yang dijalankan oleh pihak GHKL.

Tetapi kini ia menyerang kembali diperut beliau juga sama berdekatan dengan pembulur darah. Yang amat merisaukan lagi. Sel cancer tersebut telah merebak ke paru-paru sebelah kiri dan ke bahagian otak. Rawatan amat diperlukan utk memastikan keadaanya kembali stabil. Rawatan yang diperlukan Aiman berjumlah RM15,000 tunai (diperlukan SEGERA). Kini Aiman menerima rawatan di HUKM.

Dalam masa yang singkat keluarga kami tidak mampu mengumpulkan wang sejumlah itu.
Dengan ini saya memohon sedikit sumbangan dari kawan-kawan untuk menambah jumlah wang untuk Perubatan Aiman Sumbangan ikhlas anda amat di hargai:

Mazian Binti Musni (Ibu Aiman)
Maybank A/C No : 164490068229

Taken from HERE

Shitty Song destroyed my faith in humanity.

It was a bright day , one of those that filled with a generous amount of serenity in the air. I was in my green chevey Aveo , cruising my way to undecided destination yet. My fingers curled tightly on the steering wheel as they always do. I didnt switch on the A/C because day like this shouldn't be wasted on artificial air that prone to give u dry throat and sore eyes. The wind gustily entered the opening of the driver seat's window the second i punched down the control button downwards. Luckily, i've already pony-tied my hair.

Everything was perfect as perfect could be described but still , something s missing. I could sensed it million miles from here , that particular elements that makes everything sweeter that it already is. What the hell could that be? My mind started to do that jittering recollection of many movies that ive seen all these years and within seconds i already found my missing link. The scenery was missing the very essence that single-handedly been keeping us together all this while, it is MUSIC. MUSIC is my icing on the cake. Sheesh, how could i ignored something that is so fundamentally important in my life.

I released my left hand from the car handle and extended it towards the area which the radio was mounted.I punched the FM/AM button because I dont feel like listening to my old mixed burn CD. There was a voice of a young female rambling about god knows what. Sometime these words just get through you like an unseen wind. You know its there , but dont really bother to comprehend the nature of it.

Suddenly , i felt a nauseating sound wave transmitting snarkily right into my ear's canal. The voice of the singer resonated distastefully awful and assaulted my brain mercilessly. I thought there for awhile : This could not be real because the last time i checked i was a crimeless citizen , there is no way im in a prison , secluded from outside world and tortured by this well formulated brainwash practice.

Of course i am not in prison , but if this distasteful song going on , i might as well be because believe me this isnt the kind of music your ears or even ur brain for that matter can tolerate with. Having said that, I know good music when i heard one and i am a girl who is easily flattered with any kind of tunes. Simple or heavily composed but this one , this particular tune that was playing was an utter disappointment of musical mess. What could be entirely upsetting than a "mess"? That slot belongs to this song.

Even without looking at the mirror i know my face was wearing this impassive expression. My hand automatically turn off the dial and just like that my day of serenity was destroyed.

Diena on : People who are addicted to hand sanitizer . Namely, me.

"Mmmmmmm" i thought as the waitress who seemed uncannily pleasant with all the heavy uniform necessities she has to wear brought me my heavy late lunch. You see , breakfast is a rarity in my daily schedule to which lead me to always having a big lunch everyday. Assuming this, my level of starvation and hunger always at the edge of blowing volcanic each day thus unveiled the mystery of my on going morning rage.Its the food , not me.

I looked down on my choice of menu today and for once in a long time satisfied with my selection of food. On top of a semi-huge standardize white porcelain plate , laid a big juicy succulent white grilled chicken meat with a crowded bunch of vegetables and boiled potato as a side dishes. This particular meal comes with a special sauce in a separate small matching white bowl. The smell aroused from the freshly cooked dish , assaulted every corner of my nose and straight to my half-dead brain. The temptation was greater now more than ever.

Since i was a little little tiny girl , i was raised by a medical freak father and a super hygienic mother. Their negative emotion would suddenly evoked if i failed to perform one of the routine they set ; one of which was washing my hand each time i wanted to come into contact with food or any edible stuff , the one that goes into your system and being processed by your internal organs.

Being subconsciously trained into doing that , my hand automatically ransacked the unkempt content of my bag and blindly search for a bottle of an alcoholic based hand sanitizer. Now for all of you that arent out of this universe for the past 5 years must have known what is the sole purpose of existence for this product.This marvel invention has been very important to me for these past few years even before the pandemic outbreak of H1N1.It has always been a permanent resident inside the district of my handbag. This product is a necessity for me , and looking back , it could be the next bestest thing after hand lotion.

After a few struggling seconds of rummaging , my hand recognized something that was relatively familiar to the object of my searching. I then fished out the bottle and as soon as it emerged from inside of the bag , i then popped up the cap , turned it upside down and squeezed the concentrated gel-like fluid onto my palm only to realize that it has run out of liquid to flow out.How could this be possible? Did i not just bought this less than a week ago? Did some mutated vegetarian vampire sucked out all of my supply of hand washing?

I started to do my little series of investigation as my head started to filled in with a dense cloud of retracement.I tried to rationalize this mysterious case of odd condensation. Then i remembered the toilet , the computer , the food ,the cough , the slimy sneeze, the door knob , the steering wheel and everything that consist in my daily schedule. I glanced back at the seemingly nonchalant bottle of hand sanitizer. I abused her. Brutally used to the very extend human cant comprehend. I practically use hand sanitizer everywhere , every time in doing everything. No wonder this bottle is almost empty. My appetite for food has gradually receded.

Why do i need them so much u ask? I guess the feeling is unfathomable. The feeling im on each time the cold liquid touches my hand is somehow euphoric. I feel protected from the malicious germs and bacteria. I feel an invisible layer of shield is guarding me from the disarray lethal untreatable parasite. I know that i should not replace a proper hand washing but to say hand sanitizer is an adjunct , i strongly oppose! Its is water , only better. This saying after all coming from an addict , thus validation of it would not be granted.

I am officially addicted to hand sanitizer and i know i am not the only one. I am pretty sure there are a few herds of obsessive compulsive disorder out there. Sadly, they arent much who are brave and strong enough to confess like i did.

A Free Gig Invitation for those who depends their life on free stuff.

"How many of you already have plans this Saturday afternoon?
If you are planning to stay home or if you have no idea at all of what you are going to do, why not make your way to the Homegrown Space at Wisma Bentley Music, Mutiara Damansara to show your support to some new and budding bands.

Come show some love as these acts show you their stuff and who knows you might even have a rockin’ time while you’re at it." - http://homegrownspace.com.my

Red Ruby Avengers will be performing there and for the first time debuting their new song which i love love love so much! It's like dancing on a fluffy white clouds only better because this cloud doesnt rain as much as our country have to endure right now.

So come all come now and watch these awesome bands performing right out their very lung to entertain u. Free music , good people and you can have Ikea Meatball soon after the gig.

Go here for more info

and here for Red Ruby Avengers Myspace Music Page

His birthday present that came late.

I just got him a pressie although it has been not that so many months after his birthday. I am the walking example of an ignorant girlfriend whose brain arent capable of holding so much information at one time. But after so many days walking the road with an uneasy feeling , ive finally drag myself to get him his last year birthday present. I decided to buy him a wallet because the one he had was already decomposing , it's just the matter of time that poor thing put to rest once and for all.

Sad face is not getting my attention


That face already being practiced so many nights to use on a special occasion like this


Sadly , that pout was on shock and kept on sticking like that because of the prize offering


Hey its a box. like duh~


Lets see whats inside shall we?


Sleek huh? just think of that many hours of heavy labor.


this is the guy whom which being replaced for. It may look usable but really its not anymore.


see what i mean?


The ceremony of exchanging content begins! Look at those cards and guitar picks. pfft~


While waiting for him , i continue my reading on Norwegian Wood which i already done later that night.


Look what ive found hiding beneath those piles of cards. Hahahha..can i pass for a minor convict or what?


And then i made the picture kiss. sick huh? yeah i know but arent we all are?


See happy boi got his pressie.


The time cross path and brought us together , new and old , young and mature , death and life.

Ok i'll be gone now before i started to rambles on nothingness again.

The logic behind old wives tales

People say the truest most indigenous particles of ideas emanate brilliantly when ur anxiety is at the lowest level , simplest to say , it transpire when boredom creeps slowly and dreadfully into the moment. You are so wearily unoccupied u can slightly hear d puny voices inside your head arguing about which division of your brain cells should expired next. It always gives a tingling creepy vibe but oddly enough ,it would also stir your pond of thoughts in the same time.

As fancy and scholar as it may sounds , i dont usually trust the many unguided random waging tongues. To me , words come out from an unknown , said to be wise , probably didnt exist old man always has a twisted ends that supposedly end up with a hidden morale behind it. You probably think that i am bulling over here but u are dead wrong.

You see , like many other stained face little girl , i was brought up in a good old pinch on a back where your hand cant reach to rub the pain away kindda way , the nostalgic traditional fashion that is now feel like a distant past , where when conjured up always seemed vague than the last time.Albeit having a strong prominent Chinese genes in my system , the only thing i was remotely close to Chinese was my natural born slit eyes and a father who constantly speak but always too busy to teach (the one who at fault is me because i never bother to learn but regret miserably now).

I grew up completely in a Malay environment where you have to be home before dawn just because our little undeveloped brain has been consistently brainwashed into believing the fact that those are the time when the sneaky little devil come out to play and could by any menacing intention possess u or whatever. i never believe those lies , even if it were the truest of all.

I guess like many other cultures , Malays has alot of preserve old wives tales that somehow set a rules in our lives. Some are suffocating while others i reckon just being practiced so that u feel good about yourself. Where i grew up , this custom was inevitable .No matter how time washed away the ancient ethics ,this particular value never gets easily annihilated by the fast-pacing season.

Unfortunately , i used to get fooled by these rules setting proverbs but lucky for me i realized it sooner before everyone of my age did (few had been left in the dark comfy zone of their shallow minded brain) . As far as my memories stretch ,from a very very tiny girl , id always perceive things from plural perspectives and later on ruminating every ounce of logical relevant that i could gather from the particular subject in which i guess boarded me off from the land of innocence a tad bit early from anyone else. This is why i hardly ever give in my trust to any unsupported information without at least being filtered by one legitimate reason , what with the overloading untrustworthy junks in our cyber world nowadays.

That being said , i'd like to point out a couple of my most memorable old wives tale that not long time ago, nurtured me for what i am today. Even though most of it conceal the real meaning of the saying , but at least they do it for the greater good. Let me unravel the unknowing betrayal of our folkfather-mothers-sister-brothers behind their classical tongue.

Case 1 : Jangan nyanyi kat dapur , nanti kawen ngan orang tua
Logic : jangan nyanyi kat dapur lebih2 sangat sebab nanti jadi carried away pastu masakan bole jadi hangus / dapur ada potential to get burn / other accidents. the elders just added the kawen with org tua part to scare us girls , because lets face it ,being married to an old man isnt something u can carry around with a big heart without feeling a tiniest shame about it but hey it's cool if u like antiques tho.

Case 2 : Jangan duk depan pintu , nanti tade org nak datang meminang.
Logic : Back in those days , woman's official lepaking attire kan was kain batik or any other cloth fashioned to look like a sarong ,so i guess the elders came up with this saying because they have encountered many unaware flashers back then because sometimes when u are squatting , the kain batik tend to lose it forms on your body and end up having a big hole to where your crotch is being display to public.

Case 3 : Jangan cakap aku aku , nanti kene makan ngan hantu paku.
Logic : Im not sure if this is a well-known saying but it had me for quite sometime when i was in primary school .So my best bet about this saying being circulated was to educate the kids to not have a rotten tongue before the time they are allow to say it.

Case 4 : Jangan pindah2 tempat makan , nanti kawen banyak.
Logic : Shifting places while eating is not only annoying but also would make the place messy with pieces of dropping foods all over. but so to speak, to be married numerously is not a bad thing either.

Case 5 : Jangan duduk atas bantal , nanti bontot bisul.
Logic : People often drool their sour stinky saliva during sleep and those saliva that carry countless amount of unnamed bacteria would spread all over the surface of the pillow and these bacterias are infectious , thus giving u a good red boil on ur butt. Nothing complicated if u really think about it.

Case 6 : Kalau makanan yang dimasak itu masin , itu bermaksud awak nak kawen!
Logic : Masin sikit je cakap nak kawen , whatever! So my idea behind this is people thought u are day dreaming about getting marry to some rich stranger and u get carried away once again and without realizing u put the whole pack of salt into the cooking. voila~ mystery solved!

Case 7 : Kalau bulu mata jatuh , maknanya ada org rindu!
Logic : It's just the nature of our system, enuff said. dont get to excited whenever this happens again.

Case 8 : Jangan amek gambar 3 org , nanti sorang akan mati (or something like that)
Logic : Ali , Abu , Azli , Alan pergi zoo dan kemudian mereka singgah di kandang harimau. "Eh jom la ambil gambar" Ali berkata kepada semua. " Baiklah" yang lain berkata serentak lalu Abu mengeluarkan kamera dari bagnya dan memberikan kamera itu kepada Azli sambil berkata dgn bersahaja "Nah Azli ko amek ni tangkap gambar kiteorg" . Azli mengambil camera itu dgn muka yang ketat dan berkata dgn hati dengki yang amat sangat "Jangan amek gambar 3 org dohh , nanti salah sorang dari korang akan mati dulu , serious nie..org2 tua2 pun ada kata begitu". Lalu mereka pun balik dgn hati yang hampa kerana tidak dapat bergambar dgn harimau itu.

Bottom lines is , the fourth person is a lying bastard. If he cant be in the picture , no one can.

I think no one would survive reading all the way to this line considering the content is nothing more than a warm nice bullshit i just rationalize but if u are still reading let me reward you with a series of playful picture of me experimenting with my phone i captured sometime ago but always forget to publish.

Note not for anyone else.

Hi hello,
Just a quick this and there. This is really more of a personal note rather than a publicly published material but knowing the very basic of my inability to remember , i have to commence something thats gonna always be there , even the unimportant ones.

So , u have learned that i have a memory of a gold fish rather than an elephant. What putting me aside from the fish is , i dont starve myself to death just because ive forgotten that i already consumed food 3 seconds ago.I guess the bottom line that cause this problem is my ignorance after all and for the many lack of perseverance i have towards exercising the new information to at least stamp in my mind while it's still fresh.

Anyways, that all being said , i just want to remind myself.

WHAT THE DUCK ARE U DOING DAYANA?? FOCUS FOCUS! i know its hard for u to dig deep into the very core of ur thick head buat anything is better than nothing. can u not being indecisive for once , for once in a lifetime and for once for everyone's lifetime. you know its annoying and inconvenience for you and its affecting everyone around u. stop being spoil , u are twenteenfour this year. so please make a decision , and it has to be pretty damn well a good one. THINK THINK THINK!!!

ok i think thats that. good bye now.

Mulling Moments

Its already almost 48 hours past new year but some part of me still linger at the edge of 2009. Then again every beginning of the year would repeat it self in the same pattern , something a little less or more like this one. It doesnt feel suffocated nor does it drag me down but i always feel a tinge of necessity to just stay momentarily halt for awhile , to reminisce , to retrace , to analyze , to nurture and finally ive taken a step backwards to plan. Things get easily mashed up when time zoom swifly.

But tomorrow will meet a better ends because unlike any other years , i have plans for this years. or do i?